Dear One: Sometimes you'll feel off
Dear One - a series of letters inspired by real feelings felt by real people in real situations.
Some days you’re going to feel off. You may not know why, but it’s there. It may emerge slowly, like mist settling in on a mountain. Or it may come on suddenly, like the fog that springs up across a windshield when you turn over the engine on a cold winter’s day. You’ll feel foggy. Perhaps a bit disoriented. You may even feel confused as to why you feel this way.
Very likely you’ll be hard on yourself. You might feel broken.
You see, the world around us is always on. Always tuned in. All around you are images of happy people, especially in our digital world – their smiling faces, boundless energy and sunshine-filled love notes displayed to the world in text, images, and edited videos.
The perfect positioning of the camera during a photo. The stylized shot of the best dinner in the world. A steaming cup of coffee next to an idyllic ocean break. A well-groomed parade of adventure and leisure, love and grace, gratitude and kindness.
You notice these more when you’re off, as if the swinging of the pendulum towards offness has brought you into the cockpit and all you can see is an expanse of happiness - happiness that you don’t feel right now. That's what happens, you know. Our view is a limited snapshot of our entire world, but our mind thinks that snapshot is the entire universe.
What’s hard to see on the horizon is the other side of the perfectly poised picture. The misunderstandings and arguments. The moments of utter self-doubt and fear. The feelings of loneliness and sadness. This other side – the shadow side of the light – is an integral part of the balance of life. The yin and yang.
By no way do I think that we have to show the raw parts of our lives to others. That’s called personal choice and I’m all about it. But I do think we forget. We forget that as we scroll through the feed of images and snippets of motivational videos that everyone has moments of offness. Everyone finds themselves at the crossroads of life feeling pulled in several directions, unsure of which path to choose – unsure of which path is theirs.
It is this forgetting of the duality of life – the full, real, and powerful journey of opposites – that can leave us feeling less when we find ourselves in the offness. Less worthy. Less together. Less sure. Less empowered. Less valuable. It is in this role as a spectator on the lives of others who seem to have “it all”, whatever that means, that we feel broken.
I’m here to tell you that you are whole. That even though you may feel fuzzy from offness you are worthy. You are enough. This is your life. Barbed wire, unicorns, glitter and all. You and your intricacies are what help to make this world so textured, so beautiful. Life will not always feel blissful. Sometimes it may feel downright hard. Please take care of yourself. Show yourself some grace. Nourish yourself inside and outside. Go wireless in nature to reconnect with your inner and outer world. Surround yourself with support. Speak up and seek help if it’s needed.
Just keep showing up.
Know that you are not alone.
And remember – you are worthy. You are enough.